where am i going. i need to meet new people. I NEED TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. it's such a good mantra to have.

yes, i know i'm trying to be an introvert, but that only applies to the people i already know. that's why I NEED TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. do any of you realize how big this earth is, and how many people dot its various landscapes?

a whole lot, i tell 'ya!

needless to say, this isn't about finding "chicks" to dig, or anything like that. it's about meeting old men who have bounds of wisdom to dispense, women in their late forties who can crochet and knit and tell you stories about the lives they used to have before they had kids, and kids themselves; kids who like to kick, punch, laugh, curse, jump, swing, eat, and terrify any willingness i hold to "grow-up" into fearful submission.

i probably need sleep! i need to start reading again. reading is good for everything. lonely? read. stupid? read. blind? sorry.

well, there is braile.

today i swam for the first time since two fridays ago. there's only one thing to say about that: I SUCK SHIT.

also, today I FORCED HER INTO HOLDING MY HAND AND OUR HANDS GOT SWEATY FROM THE HEAT GENERATED BETWEEN US, but i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, beb.

except for a fighting chance.