once upon a time in seattle. fear and loathing in renton.

my life is a wild card right now. i have the sat's again in a week, homecoming after that, and then i have the greater worry of getting accepted into college.

if i was a hot girl, you would read every single word in this blog. luckily i'm not, so i feel comfortable writing anything i want to.

i can be spiritual without going to church, but i can't be successful without going to school.

give or take.

i haven't lost faith, but i also don't care anymore. i think i'm peaking, as far as teenage angst goes. if anything, i've lost hindsight.

or maybe i had poor future-telling powers to begin with?

my mind constantly reels. i very much dislike people who do things to make themselves greater by the sum of their parts, by virtue of their coalescing repetoire, but lately i've wondered about myself in that respect.

kids get depressed so easily. i am of the cliche, but i want to live. i think about slitting my wrists, but i'm too in love with the possibilities of living one, two, ten more years. and then, at that point, will i have been the greatest sum of my parts?

i feel that you know this all already, but growing up with the sort of parents i have, i've become preachy over the years. and over-excessive with introspect. and morbid.

women do not haunt my dreams. rather, in my dreams when i sleep i live normally, except for one thing. like, someone could smile more at me than they usually do, and it would be awkward yet familiar. i guess i am haunted that way.

and do you ever get the feeling that minutes fly by, as if time itself is trying to fuck you in your ass? heh, i don't.

but i do wish i had more time, before the river carries me over the waterfall, before i land face first on a rock.

vagabond is so dope, it's disgusting.

yesterday i was eating at a restaurant, and i spent the whole time entertaining a baby with my goofy faces. when his parents picked him up, he waved goodbye as he left. babies have nothing against me.

i read this interview with andre 3000 in vibe magazine, and he was talking about how people call him "artsy-fartsy" or "out there," and how he feels he really isn't, he just has an imagination. i can relate to that; i'm not an artfag, or weird, i just have an imagination. and i'm not trying to impress anyone, except for, maybe, my mom and dad.

haha, my brother just told me that evan sawyer has playerism tips in his aim profile.

and i hella didn't tape anthony's battle on accident b/c i thought it was on record. i pulled an anthony ON anthony! me so soie.