i just wrote a long entry about my parents, but then towards the end, i deleted all of it.

the only thing i want people to know, is that i've been blessed with a mother and a father, both good people in heart and mind, and that they make my soul rich.

never in my life, no matter how much money i will ever make in a lifetime, could i buy another jose or clarita.

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it's weird, how some people don't know that they're gay.

i'm the president of green team. weird!

running is a weird thing, too. i remember from last year, when we would all make fun of david zhang during the track season, because he wasn't very fast. now, in cross country, he's kicking my ass. i always thought i was the runaway underdog, but jesus christ, i make david zhang look sensational.

capacity is also a weird thing. i remember ha nguyen, starting way back in middle school, and i never thought much of the guy. he always said something very unintelligble, described in such a way that would imply that he was stupid. but now, from what i've heard, he's getting great test scores in math analysis, and he's doing way better than me in ap biology, by far. the other day, during bio class, i whispered to rj, "ha is such a fucking square." however, when i think about it now, as square as anyone like ha will be, he'll be making twice my paycheck in ten years, if we base it off of a current comparison in scholastic effort and grades.

i'm giving up on getting the last laugh on things. i think i pity some people, more than they need. i'm so tired of making people feel good about themselves. i think i'm fed up with this game called life-hockey. i wasn't even paying attention to when i was drafted to the losing side...

but the losing side never felt so goddamn cool.

this beck album that brian gave me today makes me not want to hate people anymore. sea change, it is called. i love the acoustics, the orchestra, the songwriting, the mellow voice, and everything.

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girl. sometimes, i can be such a blatant boy.