dear girls,

i know you all have boyfriends and obligations and such, but would it have killed you all to just give us your presence? last night was gay, like al pacino in dog day afternoon - and i'm talking about "gay" in the most literal sense. my mind and body was assaulted by homosexuals, and dare i say it - it was not cool. so please, my ladies, cry a tear for my victimized metaphorical asshole.

      xoxo,
      jcg