my hands are extremely dry for the hot water shower i just took, and my room needs to be "arranged," so says my dad.

i'd like to state the fact again, that i am a normal, normal teenager. there's nothing prodigious about the way i use my talents or "arrange" my lifestyle that will get me anywhere - in life; in love; from brooklyn to amsterdam to the great wall of china.

i keep saying that i will end this subtley layered pattern of lackadaisical complacency... but fuck... even saying that is self-destructive.

so i must deconstruct and reconstruct what there is of myself, and i'd so much like to believe that that's possible.

this is typical teenager bullshit put together in stupid, stupid words.

classic joseph.

let me put it this way: everyone wants to feel good about who they are. i want the feeling that i need to care about how i feel.

i think that makes sense.

i've been told that i seem to have a good sense of who i am, but as far as i'm concerned, i have no clue as to who i need to be.