usually when i get bored i just sit on this pseudo-leather computer chair and space out for a while, not because it's pleasant, but because it's something to do. however today i broke out of that monotonous routine, and instead of sitting in front of the computer for a inconsequential amount of time i did my homework, spanish homework to be exact. i haven't done spanish homework at home, or ever, since like... who knows, and who cares?

something crazy happened today. never in the slightest did i expect to confront my parents the way i did, but i did. i had a breakdown.
bottled up no longer, i exploded. i haven't been this person since freshman year, and it scares me to think how vulnerable i really am as person.

i was overwhelmed, discussing my personal belief system, college, my parents' parenting methods, the language barrier between us, and as much as nothing as it may sound - life.

who better to talk about living that the people who gave you the privilege?

as much as my parents have made my head steam over the past week, they're really some of the only people i can stand to listen to right now. i find it irritating and trivial to hear the half-baked stoner ideas of kids my age, simply because much of what they say reflects a lot of what i already know. they aren't imparting any wisdom on me, unless you count the naive self-righteous bullshit they've contrived to be their guiding light as wisdom.

we are some punk-ass kids.

then again, i've been told i'm more wise than i allow credit for myself, and that i only think i'm a punk-ass kid.

not to toot my own horn, or anything. or maybe i am.

punk-ass kids.

right now one of the things i love the most about living is hearing my parents from a far laughing together. they deserve more happiness in their lives, and i haven't been very deserving of them lately.

not a lot of kids are.

i haven't been writing a lot of long blogs tailored to public viewing. i've just been writing... to write, to leave this memo somewhere, not really mattering who reads it and who doesn't. it's too hard to write in a hand-written journal, at least fast and the way i want to see it. i have a much more different control of the keys than i do with the pencil.

here's looking at you kid.