the artfag formerly known as artfag in denial

so, like, what the fuck is wrong with me? i tried my hand at drawing tonight... drew ashlee simpson... definitely post-modern.

i know i want to be an artist of some kind. i still want to make music, make films, take photographs and shit. but i'm, i don't know what you call it, one of those fuckers without a proven HUNGER? like, what is that? that's just stupid.

i'm all about the filipino thing though, right now. i guess you could say i'm having my college "filipino moment," like my professor says. i wonder if it's a just a temporary, transitory type of feeling... or is it something that'll hover over me for the rest of my life?

i should be asleep now, but i'm listening to music in bed (aka bedrocking). and the way i sleep is totally out of whack.

i should be studying for organic chemistry, but that won't matter because i'll probably fail the next test. but that's okay! i'm sick of that shit and i don't have the cajones to be a doctor. science is fake anyway, didn't you know that?

SIDE NOTE: in a couple of weeks i won't be a teenager anymore. scary... i better start eating well. i wish i hadn't been such a cynical dick so early on... i would have really enjoyed being a teenie bopper.

i'm so self-conscious of the pretentiousness of blogging... i just gotta have things going on in my life worth writing about so i'll actually enjoy reading about it five years from now. but i don't do shit. i just rot. that's fucked up, now that i think of it. i guess i gotta change that, starting tomorrow.