arnold just couldn't disappoint me in collateral damage. what could beat an arnold schwarzenegger film, where he blows shit up, bites off a dude's ear (can anyone say evander holifield, up in this piece?), and cries in the first fifteen minutes of the film?

the big dude has heart.

as much as the simpsons poke fun at him, with the parody character rainier wolfcastle, arnold will and forever be the fucking man. let's think about it, end of days was good, not to mention true lies. my goodness. twins, junior, AND kindergarten cop? also, he's in a lot of the greatest science fiction/fantasy films ever. he was freakin' ice man, for christ's sakes. conan the motherfucking barbarian? THE fuckin' terminator? AND he was in total recall, motherfuckers, do not fucking forget total fucking recall.

and all the other fuckin' movies that guy was in, that i forgot to mention.

oh my god, someone please tell me i didn't just write an ode to freakin' arnold schwarzenegger. collateral damage wasn't that great, actually.

hasta la vista, baby.