another stupid "what if."

a couple months ago in biology class, i was told that the most basic and sole purpose of our existence is to reproduce. luckily, i'm not a nihilist/athiest/existentialist-jerkpiece, and so i didn't internalize the notion so much as to make me depressed. i don't believe in science.

psyche.

today, tyree and i were sitting on the floor of the student commons, eating our lunches. i don't know how it came up, but we started talking about people's asses.

i was like, "dude, we only do the things we do because of ass." tyree was like, "yeah, like just like *******'s ass," and then i was like, "dude, any great piece of ass that inspires you."

seriously, if i ever stop believing in a master plan devised by a heavier being, i might as well shoot myself. i can't just live for ass. it's such an unfulfilling, demeaning, and dissappointing excuse to live. i refuse to believe that is the way it is.

but...

it may just be all this pressure of schoolwork and MY GODDAMN FUTURE that's getting me all riled up. it gets me thinking, "maybe all of this fuss over all of this bullshit is just so i can grab on to something good while i fuck someone new, everyday, when i grow up."

think about it. you only want to become a doctor, just so you can stick you kielbasa sausage into a sucking portal. you only want to create groundbreaking works of art, not to get the world's population thinking, but to get a couple dykes to ride your throbbing johnson. you want to become a millionaire, just because it will take you there.

equally true for virgins, non-virgins, people who contantly get laid, and of course people who don't get shit for their dicks. or twats.

innie or outie, whatever your gift from god may be, you only want to succeed in this world, just so you'll have a sex partner readily available to do that thing that sex partners do. or three sex companions do. or four. or more.

you only think of "tomorrow," because today you've been thinking of your sexual history, and you want to improve it.

and please, don't ever tell me about that "nice guy" bullshit. nice guys are typically the creepiest ones.

not being "nice" doesn't mean you have to forfeit being "real."

i'm real as fuck, yo.

y'all are phonies!

writer's note: after realizing what i've just written, i've drawn the conclusion that this post is so gay! i really didn't mean to write this much about "ass." i should have spent this time writing about the ultimate juice drink that would contain ginseng, vitamin c, d, and a, and that shit dr. jekyll concocted! it would be peach flavored. shaken, not stirred, and fried with gamma rays, just like bruce banner (the incredible fucking hulk, yo!). okay, this isn't THE ultimate juice drink, but we'll just label this juice drink as "ultimate juice drink #1."

sex is yucky.