instead of an alarm clock, there needs to be some sort of mechanism around my bed that splashes me with ice-freezing water, and then tazers me up the asshole with some minor voltage. 'cuz yo, i just can't wake into reality with that sneaky invention that they call the snooze button.

zzzzz.

while i was showering this morning, the hot water suddenly turned off on me, and i was immersed in liquid shivers. i forgot what that type of experience feels like - it's so bone chillingly weird; i can't describe it. all i know is that girls get off on the hot-to-cold showers, and that's even weirder.

or strangely erotic?

i love to dance, even when there's no music playing, and especially when no one is looking, except for maybe my brother. interpretive dance, pop'n'locking, self-moshing, you name it, i do it. i love it. i always picture myself on stage, while the drummer, rhythm guitarist, solo guitarist, and bassist are going wild on their instruments, and i'm freaking out with the gayest moves imaginable, and i'm loving it. i shouldn't call it "dancing," because that's just gay, but whatever. fuck it. dance. dance. you could even say that i want to start a DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION, minus all the asianness, gayness, and patrick newmanness.

i dance out the door of my house, right before school, every morning. ROCK fucking OUT. i hope this writing doesn't make me look like jake, with all of the "face rocking" faggotries that he laces his blog entries with.

but yo, y'all just have to know: i'll fuck a face a hundred times harder, any day.

right in between zero period and first, i listen to say it ain't so by weezer, routinely, every day. today, the batteries in my cd player died on me.

so you can basically infer on to how the rest of my day unfolded. if you can't, it went something like this:

*unfold*

the end.

p.s. "dance" really is such an ewwie word. i'm going to try to eradicate from my vocabulary, just like the words "cool" and "antidisestablishmentarianism." people use those words too much.

p. p. s. my hair is at its best when it is shampooed and rinsed, with leftover pomade from the day before. i shouldn't have cut it last year, when it was at its emo-length.