where do i fucking begin.

let's start with the past few weeks in summation: a car crash, a night of cathartic explosion with my parents, and an emergency expulsion.

where do i fucking begin.

i'd rather have been expelled from renton high school for getting into a fight than for the possession of a laser pointer. jesus christ, they seriously want to expell me for that?

heh, my last post talked about the possibility of getting into trouble with this thing.

on what grounds, you ask? apparently the object goes under the classification of "lethal weapons," and thus i am fucked. and apparently, randy co-fucking-nad and derrick dick-line, those shitheads, were shining the laser into other classrooms when i let them see it. i'm probably going to rat out those bitches, or maybe not, i don't know yet. i kind of actually want to see how far they'll take me with this, specifically dr. gary, who's handling my case. this whole thing seems so stupid to me, yet they are genuinely trying to scare me.

there's so much to say about this bullshit, but i'm not going to. i'm beginning to think God is sending me some sort of signal, landmarking my life with events that are making me pessimistic, optimistic, loving, and cynical all at the same time, and i'm supposed to derive some sort of meaning out of all this mess. this fuckedupness. this anything but tragic or heartbreaking lameness. this gayness. this is wrong.

i should have just wrote "expelled" for this blog entry, and left it at that. i'm not even mad anymore, just tired. it feels like the appropriate time to cry, but why bother? i don't even think i have the capacity to do so, seeing as how i used up all my tears on tuesday.

p.s. tyree is the homie, and if he gets in any trouble for what happened today, i'm going to be severely pissed.

p.s.s. when did the world start closing in, trying to fuck me in my ass?

p.s.s. i was trying to think of music to listen to, and i'm beginning to understand why skaters listen to that generic rock bullshit. skaters get in trouble a lot, and they're distrustful of authority and hate posers like myself, so it's understandable as to why they would listen to someone yelling "raaaggghhhhh" over the dissonance of "chugga-chugga" played on an overly-distorted guitar. the closest thing that i like that is in that direction is system of a down, but unfortunately i don't have anything by them to listen to.

still, "goodbye sunshine" by the beatles seems relevent.