this morning, right before i went to school, i put on my jacket, and what did i find bulging out of the left pocket? MY RETAINER. though i should be saying "yay!" i feel like such a fucking idiot.

i won't run through the half day at school today. i winged the biology test, and thus failed it. that's about it.

afterschool is when all the "fun" began. the following writing will seem like a "how to guide" on screwing yourself, but nonetheless, it should be an enriching read -

we met in the student commons, and then we went to anthony's. it was evident early on that there wouldn't be enough cars to drive all of us to the movie theatre, to see "8 mile." we waited and waited to see what would happen, but in the end, anthony takes jennylyn, elaine, hannah, and tina to the movie theatre. what ever happened to "bros before hoes?"

tyree, brian, roger, and i spent a long time at anthony's, with only maurro as the only resident of the house. tyree and i raided anthony's fridge, and tyree ended up eating a hot pocket, while i ate 4 small bagels with cream cheese. then we ate some apple pie, and i took a spoonful of some of the mint-chocolate chip ice cream.

all the while, brian was rolling some joints on anthony's kitchen table. weed was scattered on the table cloth, and even after he finished rolling them, there were still bits left on the table.

then they asked maurro if we could smoke in the backyard, and he was cool about it. "no one home until 'tree," he said. his english is getting a whole lot better.

i didn't smoke, but those guys said they got pretty high.

we went inside, and it was someone's idea to go to downtown seattle. it was, after all, the same four of us who went downtown on the last day of school, last year.

we stopped by the gas station, and picked up some food. i got a thing of nutter butter bites, for $0.99. then we waited for what must have been at least half an hour at the bus stop, and caught the 101.

i fell asleep waiting for the bus, and i fell asleep on the bus. the old asian man sitting next to me had to wake me up, just so he could exit the bus.

we got off at the westlake stop. we used a couple of escalators to get closer to the mall, but we saw a handicap elevator, and we decided to use it. we were all unsure of whether or not we were allowed to use it, but nonetheless, we got inside, and brian pressed one of the buttons. after the elevator moved, and then stopped, we got out. WE WERE WHERE WE STARTED. brian must have pressed the wrong button. so we decided to get to higher levels the old-school caveman way: stairs.

we walked around the sublevel of the mall, in circles. i think we saw the netherlands girl that jake is sprung off of. but back to the point, we were walking around in circles. it wasn't even a large circle that we were tracing our steps in, it was around a starbucks coffee stand.

and then we finally found ourselves outside of the the mall. we reached the curb, in between the gap and abercrombie & fitch, with seattlite pedestrians walking by us, and then we stopped and thought, "why are we here?" we honestly didn't know the answer, so we decided to turn back and go back to anthony's.

call us drifters, call us stupid-losers, call us anything you want. we sure as hell didn't know what we were doing.

we waited for the bus, and spotted devin sumaong (sp?) and jennylyn's sister, but i really didn't give a fuck.

long busride home. tired, and confused, were we.

once we got off the bus, it began to pour. it hasn't rained in such a long time. i hated walking in the fucking rain - and we had to walk up the steepness of langston hill, towards anthony.

when we got to the top of the hill, we saw that anthony's car wasn't there. jesus. we stood in the road, in the rain, thinking of what were going to do. we decided we'd wait in anthony's back yard, which was better than getting wetter and wetter by the second.

we must have waited 45 minutes, hoping that anthony would come home. we killed the time with gross "what if's," mostly involving jokes of the crudely grotesque sexual nature. finally, anthony's dad came out, and asked us what the hell we were doing on his property, and we all felt like stupid stupids.

i split away from the other guys, as they walked to the transit center. walking home, i listened to queens of the stone age's songs for the deaf. i've been listening to that album for the past week, and it rocks beautifully hard. it's the perfect music to listen to while walking or taking the bus, especially in the dreary overcast of this godforsaken area.

just now, my mom asked me to go to a funeral with her. i declined, protesting in refusal, telling her that "i'm depressed," which is probably a little stray from the truth, but i know for sure that i won't be uplifted by seeing someone's dead body.

brian let me borrow choke, by chuck palahniuk. if i begin to read that tonight, adding to the unpleasant events of today, i might just tear my hair out from the grief of this world.

i've had better days.