they won't even let me go to the district office to speak to an advisor. my parents are on their way their, and i'm stuck here at home.

to say that this experience is episodical is an understatement of the situation's severity. my mom called people here and there, and it seems as though that there's a great chance that i won't be coming back to renton high school ever again.

this is not my fucking reality.

i wish i could plead insanity, but this whole ordeal is only based on a few bad choices and decisions, here and there. what would seem to be casual mistakes are now reaping the consequences of bringing a gun to school, and never in my life have a felt so vulnerable to external decisions.

right now, i am utterly helpless. at first, i thought this whole thing would go away, but from what they're telling my mom, they're not going to be very easy on me, and they're giving her little hope as to my educational career in this area - or the state.

it seems so silly that this thing could fly out the window like a breeze, or blow over and snowball into something really bad, something really really bad.

the lahar is coming?