Saturday, January 04, 2003

9 times out of 10, i space out when people talk to me.
9 times out of 10, if i'm spacing out, i'm probably thinking about the female anatomy.
9 times out of 10.
last night -

ice skating. i am such a pushover.
there were so many of us -
i've never realized that i'm around such a group of 'popular kids.'
THE large group; majority rule.
i waste too much time hating people,
and not enough time hating disease, war, and my personal faults.
this is my offical denouncement of my title as a teenage dirtbag.
i'm still wearing lai joy's belt. it's very punkish and girly -
two somewhat contradictory terms that describe me best.
i wish wearing a girl's belt meant something, but it doesn't.

right now -

i've just awaken from a dream.
i can't get back to sleep,
and sleep is all i want right now.
my naked legs are cold.
i drank a glass of milk.
indie rockstardom; heightened abilities;
girlfriends; complete and utter freedom -
all elements of a euphoric dream.


+ it's times like this when i wish i had a friend, preferably a girl,
living on the east coast, so i could make her a long distance phone call.

+ it's times like this when i wish i could sleep forever,
in that deep sea of colored lights, and black and white ones too.

+ RISE ABOVE - these blogs are turning out to be like the ones i wrote two/three years ago.

360 FULL CIRCLE - I'M BEGINNING TO BELIEVE THAT SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS SOMETHING YOU FIND IN FAIRY TALES.

POLL: does joseph pity himself?
count my vote as a "HELL YEAH, MUTHAFUCKA!"

Friday, January 03, 2003

my back hurts.
i've been taking ibuprofen all day.
swimming is my only form of escape right now,
besides sleeping, and perhaps eating.
i suck at photography, but i'm still working on that.
did i mention my back hurts?

attn. roger: we need to get started on our math.
attn. brian and roger: my brother needs some kurt vonnegut books for his outside reading credit.
i h4+3 h4ng0v3r5,
4nd i h4+3 3v3ry0n3,
but i <3 b3ing fr35h.

2002 w45 4 f4gg0+ 455 51u+ 455 h03
4nd i p14n 0n b34+ing y0ur bi+ch 455 f0r i+.

i n33d +0 g3+ +h3 fuck 0u+ 0f +hi5 h311 h013,
4nd r341iz3 my531f,
f0r3v3r.

i'm 5+i11 c0ming b4ck,
unf0r+un4+31y.
my un53xy gr4ndi10qu3nc3?
h01y fuck,
+h4+ i5 ju5+ 5i11y.

h4v3 4 nic3 1if3.

Sunday, December 29, 2002

it's been a long time since i last blogged. i've had many opportunities online to write about stuff, but you know how it goes; you just don't feel like doing shit, sometimes. as you can see, i put together an eye-hurter of a layout, 'cuz i know how y'all hate the deep reds and antagonizing yellows.

i guess this is sort of a catch-up entry, to make up for my flake-y-ness and m.i.a. status for the past week.

as far as i can remember, christmas eve was just another day. swimming has been tiring me out (we're supposed to be doing two practices a day until break is over), and my muscles have been feeling like lead. as you can see, my body's condition was more on my mind than santa clause during the holiday season.

not that santa clause came, this year. apparently, he skipped my house, 'cuz my brother and i have been a pair of assholes the whole year. on christmas morning, i got a pair of pants.

still, i'm as thankful as a boy of the lower middle class could ever get, and i'm getting a high quality digital camera in a few days, so i really wasn't deprived of presents this year. however, i won't be seeing some new guitar equipment for a while, 'cuz my mom works overtime, all the time, to pay for my family's wack-ass electricity bill!

since my father, brother, and i all have birthdays within a month of each other, my mom decided it would be cost efficient and funny if she combined our birthday and christmas presents together, to get a new computer. heck, i'm ain't complaining.

also, since everyone has been talking about getting some errr-farce-wunnnzzz, i feel a need to talk about my own personal shoe-envy. this time, i'm thinking some low-top chuck taylor's, perhaps in a burgundy or brown color, 'cuz damn, it feels good to be a 'gangsta. i also saw a pair of these casual-style sketchers that i might want, but i want to try them on first, 'cuz they've got some high-heels on them, and i might look a bit fruity.

like i care!

backtracking a little bit; on christmas eve, my dad cut my hair. the only way to explain it is this: i asked to get the sideburns trimmed, and i ended up with a boater haircut, worse than a bowl-cut. my mom said me-getting-a-haircut would be a christmas present for her, so i did it for that reason, but if i had've known it would have looked like this, i would've ran away from home.

i guess it's going to be a lot of hoods and hats for me, until i get another trim, which should be soon. i'm thinking about getting a mohawk, but i don't know yet.

my hair looked alright on christmas eve, when i went to church. maybe the fact that i wore a suit, and combed in an exxon-valdez-freight-ship worth of pomade into my hair, disguised the mop on my head as a decent doo. elaine said she saw me, and she didn't mention my hair at all, but that may have been due to politeness. apparently she was there with lai joy, j.r., and ronald - fuckin' weird, yo.

as you can all see, my hair is a big issue.

i spent christmas day at my aunt's house in fairwood. my family probably thought i was a total ass, 'cuz i did what i enjoy the most: a whole lot of nothing. we played the elephant game (special acknowledgement to the very vietnamese minh-tu, who is the first person i've found to play the game, besides my very filipino relatives), and my brother scored some cool things for the family. we got this lantern-thing that runs on batteries, and i really want to take it out to some place dark, and scare the ghosts - i really do! female ghosts are the best! sexy!

something very unsexy: my swim coach. she's like the loneliest and saddest person in the world, AND NO, she is no rachel leigh cook (referring to the movie she's all that, where cook plays a loser-geek). my swim coach is one of those people who get sad that they lose their auction bids on ebay, and ends up spending $40 on sports cards of less-than-famous olympic swimmers. her best friend and only roommate is a cockerspaniel named rocket, and she eats christmas dinner alone.

sad truths; reasons why i don't want to be alone for the rest of my life!

i've barely hung out with my friends this whole winter break. this is a whole lot of suck. i miss out on all of the cool get-togethers, 'cuz i'm either at swim practice, or imagining i'm a rockstar as i vaccuum the living room floor.

although, last night i got the chance to hang out with seth, kim, jake, molly, and anthony. we watched willy wonka and the chocolate factory, as well as austin powers: goldmember. before we went to anthony's house to watch the movies, i was playing seth's bass guitar at his house, while kim and seth were playing animal crossing on the nintendo gamecube. during the whole time that i was messing around with the e minor scale on the bass, i never realized until the last minute that seth's grandma was watching me play. jake said she must have been behind me for what seemed like half an hour, and he didn't know whether to tell me to stop, or at least give me an indication that she was behind me.

my friends! please don't leave me behind!