too bad

obviously you hadn't been reading this.

otherwise.

...

what me worry

nah.

où est mon joie de vivre

someone could look at me right now and think i'm losing myself in these classes, with all the time-consumption via homework, and yet, i wouldn't know how to respond to this observation. maybe it's true? i don't know, but something is definitely different, or, at the very least, suppressed. my identity and the life of a square are beginning to be more and more blurred, but whoever i was before is still here, somewhere, dormant, waiting for me to be done proving myself to myself, or something like that. right now, i can say with certainty that i am... ...lost (but who isn't?).

especialmente, i seem to react to music in ways i hadn't before. george winston's "peppermint patty" makes me want to be a kid again. the naruto soundtrack gives me that same feeling, that longing to be carefree like i was a year ago, yet at the same time, it makes me want to succeed at whatever i'm doing at the moment, just like that ambitious kid naruto. and earlier someone was playing a song from the amelie soundtrack on the grand piano downstairs, and i couldn't help but feel the corners of my eyes being pulled apart... ...i am effeminate... ...not emo... ...fuck emo... i'm just being nostalgic to the once hopeless romantic amelie and i once where...

but for now, for the next 7 weeks, i'll probably be the biggest douche ever. just don't forget me.

meet me in montauk.