kill bill
intolerable cruelty
school of rock
once upon a time in mexico
pirates of the carribean

... are all movies in the theatre that i haven't seen yet, but plan to SOMETIME! want to come? we should plan a day where we see all of these movies by sneaking in. sick!

i've put a lot of ibuprofen, orange juice, and vitamin supplement tablets into this sick body over the past 48 hours.

i'm a scary kid. i realize that now. i'm like a walking halloween. everyone is afraid i might touch them, or something.

it doesn't even feel like i took the sat's this morning. is that good or bad? I DON'T KNOW!

i answer my own rhetorical questions.

mike has turned me on to deep fried oreos. i want to try them so, so bad.

my cholesterol peaks at ONE-EIGHTY-ONE.

always attracted to girls who aren't impressed by me at all.

i want to be on top of a rock cliff, or on the upper levels of a skyscraper, or something. i want to be on an elevated plane, looking over everything and everyone.

maybe this feeling isn't temporary. maybe i've felt like this all of my life, and that's why people, especially my closest friends, think i'm an elitest asshole.

but at the same time, don't you want to fall in love with something? not necessarily a girl, though it would be nice, but with like, something?

i'm not trying to be vague. i just don't know what it is i live for anymore, you know? wondering why god let me live this long, wondering whether it's worth thinking about at all?

and if i wasn't sick right now i'd put on a sweater and take a walk right now. that's how i feel. and for the record, i never feel like taking a walk, because i'm always walking to begin with. and taking extra walks is like, for fucking flakes.

or not. maybe it's what i need.

it's like when you're in a car and the music correlates to the feeling you get when you press your face against the window and you feel like you're in a movie watching yourself?

or it's like when you stare at the sky and the blue or gray or magenta or whatever is ominously staring back, and you go crazy for it, because it's so big. the sky is big.

i could see myself falling in love with that new girl at school who had a baby and gave it up for adoption.

i am a needy bastard who has a dad so i'm not a bastard but still, i'm needy. i need dvds, lots of dvds; i need to clear out the space in my room except for a widescreen television and multi-channel sound system, to seclude myself in films that both suck and don't, so i can breathe both sides of the spectrum. i need my fingers to fly faster, so rather than sucking at the solo, i can be a virtuoso with bravado in the music itself, and not just run at the mouth like i'm doing right now.

i need to get away from the rilo kiley part of my playlist, because it's making me write like this. all teenaged up and shit,
cut.

ahhh..... rage against the machine.

CORRUPTED! EVERYTHING IS FUCKING CORRUPT YOU FUCKING SLAVE!

oops..... here we go. beck. (not of sea change)

i've been drifting along in the same stale old shoes..... and something is vacant.

i idolize miyamoto musashi and samurai of the same vein. i sweat though, vagabond is the shit.

OKAY MY PLAYLIST IS ON STEVIE WONDER AND I FEEEEEL SO SWEET, SO BYE!

once upon a time in seattle. fear and loathing in renton.

my life is a wild card right now. i have the sat's again in a week, homecoming after that, and then i have the greater worry of getting accepted into college.

if i was a hot girl, you would read every single word in this blog. luckily i'm not, so i feel comfortable writing anything i want to.

i can be spiritual without going to church, but i can't be successful without going to school.

give or take.

i haven't lost faith, but i also don't care anymore. i think i'm peaking, as far as teenage angst goes. if anything, i've lost hindsight.

or maybe i had poor future-telling powers to begin with?

my mind constantly reels. i very much dislike people who do things to make themselves greater by the sum of their parts, by virtue of their coalescing repetoire, but lately i've wondered about myself in that respect.

kids get depressed so easily. i am of the cliche, but i want to live. i think about slitting my wrists, but i'm too in love with the possibilities of living one, two, ten more years. and then, at that point, will i have been the greatest sum of my parts?

i feel that you know this all already, but growing up with the sort of parents i have, i've become preachy over the years. and over-excessive with introspect. and morbid.

women do not haunt my dreams. rather, in my dreams when i sleep i live normally, except for one thing. like, someone could smile more at me than they usually do, and it would be awkward yet familiar. i guess i am haunted that way.

and do you ever get the feeling that minutes fly by, as if time itself is trying to fuck you in your ass? heh, i don't.

but i do wish i had more time, before the river carries me over the waterfall, before i land face first on a rock.

vagabond is so dope, it's disgusting.

yesterday i was eating at a restaurant, and i spent the whole time entertaining a baby with my goofy faces. when his parents picked him up, he waved goodbye as he left. babies have nothing against me.

i read this interview with andre 3000 in vibe magazine, and he was talking about how people call him "artsy-fartsy" or "out there," and how he feels he really isn't, he just has an imagination. i can relate to that; i'm not an artfag, or weird, i just have an imagination. and i'm not trying to impress anyone, except for, maybe, my mom and dad.

haha, my brother just told me that evan sawyer has playerism tips in his aim profile.

and i hella didn't tape anthony's battle on accident b/c i thought it was on record. i pulled an anthony ON anthony! me so soie.