a pretentious goofball, subtly seeking approval from mommy, daddy, coach, and mr. day. can't cook, can't clean, can't get worried. one mess of a boy!

fucking space cowboy, yo!

so i said to myself the other day, "things are 'gonna change, beeyatch," and they have. i eat salads instead of rice. i sleep when everyone is awake, and i do my homework while everyone in this city is having their routine late-night "touch myself" time. i am running smoother and wiser. my legs are always cramped and sore, but that's alright. i don't know if i'm any faster, but i know this feeling of weakness right now is only making me stronger. i'm going to come back up in school, and my teachers will see me as the sleeper hit of the summer (err... spring). i'm going to own myself, for once. there's not going to be any of this slacker dead-head zombie drool bullshit anymore. it's all going to be on point from now on, with a ninja's accuracy and precision.

but my skin will still be dry. i don't have any gripes about that, not even with the fact that people won't want to touch me, 'cuz i'm a bunch of bones covered in sandpaper for your masochistic enjoyment. hold my hand and you will scar; caress my face and you will bleed. at least my hair is always fresh-and-so-clean-clean.

i didn't say things were going to change for the better. i'm still addicted to sleep, as well as the idea of a girl. put those two ideas together, and you have a sick mind. i ain't a ball of horny energy like the rest of y'all, at least not on wednesdays.

i woke up early in the morning today in intervals of neverending pain. that is no over-exaggeration of the actual experience. it started at around 1 am, where i was crying and moaning and cursing, asking god why i felt the way i felt. i was seriously hurting that much, and no matter what i did, it wouldn't go away. my mom finally came at 5 am and she massaged my feet. lord jesus, i didn't want her to leave me, but she had to. she gave me two ibuprofen and milk for the pain before she left for work. i felt so helpless. i thought i wasn't going to go school.

but i did go to school. i came, i saw, and i conquered this day of april fool's, 2003. not really. but i celebrate being foolish everyday, so what does it matter?