rolling around my bed in dress-up clothes as if being unconscious for several hours was an outdoor event that required pants, i've wrinkled my good khakis. a.d.i.d.a.s. all day i dream about serenades, each transition is like another movement in a masterfully written musical, except for the fact that i hate musicals and that the characters of my nightmares are more in the style of life-like films than a theatrical display. i talk in opposites because i can.

yes mother, i've been sleeping all day. when you were gone i was too.

there's something about running a race for the first time in a long time that makes a boy rethink the whole direction and path of his life, soul, and.....

yeah, right!

a 5:32 in the mile isn't great, but it isn't bad either. an f in biology, however, is a big no-no!

i'm sick of being full of negative energy. i have a sore throat right now, but i'm in better spirits right now than i have been in the past week. i think i should redesign this site... especially since i got some space from joysha...

I FEEL LIKE SUCH A KID! i'll save all of the insightfully incisive writing for... the grown ups.

i've been asleep since 7:30. i had some crazy dreams while i was out, the kind where you are absolutely convinced of their reality that you wake up distraught and either really depressesd or really relieved.

right now i can't remember if i woke up super depressed or super relieved, but i'm sure it's one of the two extremes. although at this very moment, i'm feeling kind of empty, and i don't know if it's just the fact that i'm hungry, or that i'm longing for something less tangible.

i am every cliche you can think of, but i'm not any less condescending than a man who cannot be fucked with.

joseph c. guanlao, as of wednesday, march 19, 2003, at 6:26 pm: long sleeve lime green shirt, plaid pajama bottoms, bare feet, fresh clean hair, full stomach, thoughts about not doing homework, "wonderwall" by oasis, mustafa's presidential campaign. REPETITION.

Inspekta17: i have super school apathy
j OSEPHGUANLAO: i care about school when i'm in school, but when i'm at home i don't do shit
Inspekta17: haha
Inspekta17: when you live at school, then what?

my cousin and her fiance are here at my house right now... all of you ladies would go crazy over this guy. he's really tall, sort of mysterious with his quiet laid back nature, and an overall nice guy. WAIT A SECOND... you girls hate nice guys. heh. nevermind.

school was kind of weird today... i had a french dip for lunch, and we had a fire drill during our lunch period, so i got rain water in my au jus. i played with james' laser pointer and pointed on people's asses (still, i have no affinity with the female gluttius maximus, i swear!) because i giggle like a little girl after a massive bong hit when i see that stuff like that.

track practice got me a little tired today. i don't know why, but the muscles in my ass felt sore. i've been sore in places before, but feeling like shit in my rear end (that sounds funny!) rendered my "kick" helpless and in submission. i'm faster than that... i know it. being sore in my ass makes me feel like such a slut, especially since jessica delos santos was complaining about hers too. yuck! i shudder to even think about it... it's THAT gross.

when i got home, i spent an eternity in the shower, going through my hot/cold water routine. i must have glopped half a bottle of shampoo and a fucking whale load of conditioner in my hair... this mop is going to be clean for another year, i can tell you that.

daniel, one of the biggest pitywhores i know, doesn't like dashboard confessional. they're "pussies" he says. DASHBOARD IS AS HARDCORE AS ANYTHING, YOU TWATBANGS! i don't really like any emo besides that band, unless you consider death cab for cutie "emo" instead of "indie rock." those bands are filthy. all y'all 'wankstas are just 'frontin.

and like, our country is going to war and shit? and like, i don't know what to think about that and shit? and like, i hope nothing really fucked up happens and shit? although, by the act itself of going to war is already fucked up and shit? and like, i wish bush and saddam would just kiss and make up and shit?

did i forget to mention that running sucks?

it's depressing to be on the track team. i see a lot of people left out of the scope of things because they're not fast runners and such. maybe it's their fault, and they deserve to be uncared for and unwanted because they haven't realized that track isn't their sport, but i don't know. it's all trivial and stupid to me. as vain as it sounds, i suppose i stand on the borderline of sucky and potentially good, and i guess that's why i sympathize for those with useless legs. even though this team wears its league title like it's fucking BLING, i could care less. i'm just running to make sure that all of these cheeseburgers that i inhale get burned off, and if i do this running thing pretty well, i guess that's cool.

for some reason, all of my recent comments have been deleted. hmm... that sucks.

today was a steady paced day of test taking, elevator riding, and what my fellow boyfriends call "an overabundance of ass." it was either anthony or tyree who said "today must be hot ass day or something!" i don't know about that. it's probably just nearing springtime, and the girls are wearing mini-skirts and thongs because those things are more comfortable this time of year.

yeah, whatever, i don't care. if these guys are so intrigued by the female prosterior, they should seek careers in proctology or something. i sure as fuck don't care that much about that bangin' booty - it's all about the face on a lady, my dears. that's what makes my head do cartwheels and flares and aerials and shit.

yeah, i'm shallow, but who the fuck isn't? old ladies and babies? my people, i am SO in between being a baby an old lady. don't get me wrong, both are good stages of life to be in, but i'll take these teen years for now, thank you very much.

i mean, i have to enjoy this while i can. i think it's fucking creepy for those twenty-three-year olds to be ogling over fifteen-year-old girls with big racks... that's why i hate huge tits. they only attract the goons, sickos, and perverts.

but someone like ms. adams... she's a good example of THE FACE taking primary attention. it's like, i don't even realize she has a body. you can't go wrong with the comely radiance of a stunning woman.

SO YEAH GUYS, don't use my camera to take pictures of girls' asses, or ask me to do it myself. however, if you want me to shoot your girlfriend from the front, i'll be more than glad to.

today was st. patrick's day, and i didn't wear green. the only person that pinched me was rj, and that was in retaliation to me pinching him, even though he was wearing green.

i can't believe i wrote so much about t. & a.