TYrEEsHEPPArd: you know
TYrEEsHEPPArd: blogs like the ones you posted
TYrEEsHEPPArd: though express feelings
TYrEEsHEPPArd: scare the shit out of females

today i moved through time and space and brian's house and roger's house and i came home and spent half an hour in the bathroom thinking of you, my girl.

although i can't call you my girl, because THE WHOLE world converges upon you. every boy and every man. even the birds wait outside your window sill in the cold, under the seattle weather, to hear you sing your song.

you know what i'm talking about, and i think i do too. still, i remain obsessive.

there used to be a dead blue jay in my front yard, and i took a picture of it because i'm such a faggot.

it must be mentioned that LAST NIGHT's basketball game, renton vs. evergreen, was the hottest shit EVER. we were trailing a good amount until the end of the fourth quarter, where our team PREVAILED as the comeback kings. LEAGUE CHAMPS, MOTHERFUCKERS!

also, it must be mentioned that lai joy gave me free money last night, and derek gave me a ten-piece chicken nuggets from mcdonald's.

and I HAVE TO MENTION that i just woke up. this is the first time in a long time where i got 12 hours of sleep. shit 'nigga!

the semester is officially over. i did my finals. nigga' done done that. last night, at linda's birthday party, it was some crazy shit. if you were there, you could have walked out of one room, and into another, and feel totally different. but it's all over now. i'm rethinking the notion that fast food is fine dining to me, because i had waaaaay to many burger king onion rings this morning, and i feel like nasty shit right now. on an upside, i'm picking up the guitar again. i don't know where anyone is right now. i'm going on a jog. peace be with all of you.

by writing that feature story, i just sealed the deal from getting kicked out of journalism. this is the first time i actually didn't say "fuck it," and did what i planned to do, but i'm doing that for american studies, because i need my sleep. i'm addicted to it.

;3

goodnight.

come to think of it, i've met a lot of liars in my lifetime. people who i used to think were the truth, were in fact, fuckin phonies. i myself, am a big fucking lie. the joseph you see GALLIVANTING about the town doesn't really need or want your attention, but he does his little thing anyway. he's a big whiner, yet he hates fucking whiners. i guess you could say that he's a lowlife no-nothing douche-bag of contradictions and syrup-y love for anyone, everyone, and no one.

but at the same time, he's more real than you or me, so neither of us should be talking.

i wonder if life is just about the constant intermingling and trust with other people, until they let you down and prove that they were full of shit the whole time.

i want the ground to shake, here in seattle. people need an earthquake around here. maybe i should move to capitol hill. i wish i could rent an apartment closer to broadway, or in deeper seattle. seattle is already full of small town minded people, and renton is far worse.

OH YEAH. I FORGOT. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY! TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN, AND BREATHE! I HAVE TO REMEMBER, the world does not center around me blogging.

fuck the internet.

:}

unless of course, you're online, hun.

i feel so musically ignorant when i look at rj's playlist.

OMFG.

at rj's, while working on our dna project (today was the fifth day in a row), my mom called. she said she picked up my guitar, and despite my troubled worries of the guitar forever being fucked, it is not. IT IS FIXED!

omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg!

the first thing when i got home was play the guitar. in all actuality, i've never owned a good playable guitar in the year and a half of time that i've been playing the guitar, and this was nothing short of a godsend for me. playing my guitar with a fixed action, adjusted neck piece, and light gauge strings - OMFG. it's like passing your hand through water, or running your fingers through a bag of uncooked rice. it's a beautiful thing.

the only way i can describe this change is as such: all your life you've walked to school up a steep hill, and you never get used to it. it just sucks. everyday.

BUT THEN SUDDENLY THE PATH YOU TAKE BECOMES LEVELED GROUND. and know you feel like fucking running to school, because your legs feel so fucking free. that's how my fingers feel on my guitar.

i know, none of you dirty fuckfaces care about my guitar problems, but still - OMFG. it is such a beautiful thing.

first things first. i have to get through the next two days, which are the last two day of this semester, and the last two days of finals week. FUCK, it's such a beautiful thing, even though i will fail all my finals, not sleep, and fall flat on my already fucked faced. but things will be different soon -

i will seek my heart out.

i will make a song for every step my heart takes.

and all the fucking while i'll be getting good grades, taking a lot of pictures, and live the fucking teenage high life i want to live.

and it will be, A BEAUTIFUL THING.

note to self: stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, and do more crunches, fat ass!

rj's house again. four days in a fucking row.

roger's grandmother told us the heartbreaking story of her life. it was a tragic, yet inspiring recount of the past since the time when the japanese tried to take over the philippines. my grandfather walked in the death marches of that time, so i listened to her retold experiences with an utmost respect, admiration, guilt, sadness, and hope.

god save the good people in this world like rj's grandma lourdes.

the communication between her and rj is both humorous and compelling; i know no other way to explain it. sometimes i take for granted the beautiful sights to bestow amongst other human beings, and my problems seem to shrink to an insignificant size when i'm in the presence of humbling experiences like the one i had today.

-

i just finished the first gallery of the photojournal, which is good enough for now. it totals to 69 pictures, and that silly sum is by all means a genuine accident. the photojournal will be up tomorrow, as i upload everything to the renton school district server tomorrow morning.

rawr.

"goddamn, this is some good toast!"
- rj habon.

looking through the pictures i've taken for the past couple of days, you'd either think i've got a good eye for all that is "cool," or that i'm the biggest faggot in the world. and you know what? i can live with being a homosexual, as long as i'm not an asshole.

yeah. CAN YOU DEAL WITH THAT?

wooooooo-fucking-haaaaaaa!

well, i've only taken one actual "gay" picture. it's of me in the mirror, without a shirt on, so it's more narcism than it is faggotry.

WOOOOO-FUCKING-HAAAAAA!