earlier this morning, i was potting wetland shrubs.

now i'm fucking drunk, at home, just coming from anthony's party. max sosa is the motherfucking man, because he dispenses his wisdom with the hilarity of the motherfucking man. anthony sosa is the motherfucking man, because he throws parties, and drives his friends home. brian and tyree are the motherfucking men, because they are passed out at anthony's right now. brian is probably still lying on anthony's bed, with his eyes half open, and tyree probably has his face pressed on anthony's bathroom floor, because the pillow that amy gave him to lie on is probably in the toilet. hannah is the motherfucking man, because it was her birthday today, and she works at a pub, and she gets fucked up on her birthday. amy is the motherfucking love, because she's the motherfucking shit, and she says "nigga." she's so cute!

i am fucking drunk. this could be a lot more in depth, if i was sober. BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT.

jack daniels. crown royal. coca cola! i hope i don't feel this shit tomorrow morning..... ouch!

our last half day, my sweets!

fuuuuuuuck. school went real slow today. i just wanted to get out of there, especially when i realized my grade would be a fat F in journalism. goddamnit. how can i be such a stupid-head?

afterschool, we all met in the commons, and i ended up riding in a car, driven by minh-tu in her uninsured oldsmobile, with lai joy and roger. we stopped at the bank, so minh could get some money ($), and then we went to walmart, where i bought a slim jim, a two-pack of pringles, and a big box of junior mints.

slim jim spice-e! me no steppy into one of them, on an empty stomach, ever again!

we went up to anthony's house, where the crackin' flow of people made somewhat of a fiesta. i jumped on the trampoline, but my stomach began to hurt from the slim jim.

man, i am such a little bitch!

after a long while of hanging out and drinking anthony's brother's code red mountain dew and stuffed pizza, which we weren't supposed to drink and eat as i would later find out, we head over to parkway plaza to see JACKASS.

jackass, oh jackass. what a movie experience, i would say, and i'm not even talking about the movie itself. when we got to the movie place, i initially thought that everyone had already snuck in, so that i would have to pay for the movie. but then anthony comes along, with his car full of deliquents prepared to get in without paying, and so i run over to THOSE GUYS, to see what's going down. we wait a long time for someone to open the door for us, and after much planning and crying, we finally got in.

amy paid to get in. i sneaked in. i don't know what that says about me. i don't know what she was thinking. i don't know.

i just don't know!

i knew, right from the start, that sneaking in with such a large group would mean trouble. brian ran over to the bathroom, to avoid any confrontation. i knew something was up when the same fat black lady with popcorn kept going in and out of the theatre. what the hell. WHO WOULD GO SEE JACKASS, AND RAT OUT A BUNCH OF KIDS DOING SOMETHING OF A jackass NATURE? this really bothers me.

first, an usher came and asked us for our ticket stubs. he tried to kick jaymar out. at first, i was ready to run, but then i didn't really care anymore. i liked where i was, at that moment in time. later on, the usher's manager came in and asked our row of friends to come out and show our tickets. the funny thing is, some of us didn't have our ticket stubs, but a lot of us pulled them out, so they let us back in and even apologized. but the movie people were really out for blood, and they called the cops. PIGS! I HATE PIGS! I ESPECIALLY HATE PIGS, OF THE POLICING NATURE!

pigs that oink are alright, i guess. pigs that cop, however, can go to hell.

we didn't get caught! tyree and anthony bailed right away, when the usher first came, but they really didn't need to. i have to admit, my heart was beating pretty fast.

the movie was alright. there's not much to say about it, except that if you like that type of stuff, go see it.

LIST TIME! movies that i've seen with amy n. teung:

  1. requiem for a dream
  2. cky
  3. reservoir dogs
  4. jackass

by now, if amy has already gotten tired of me, i don't know what i'd say or do. at least i've made a great friend. i mean, look at that movie list! she's seen requiem more times that i have, and liked it, and she had her substancial share of giggles from cky and jackass. i don't think she loved reservoir dogs, but no one really can, unless they're fuh-reakin' in love with tarantino flicks. i just like the idea of liking the movie, because the concept is so goddamn cool.

anyway, i know i'm ranting about amy. everyone thinks i'm fucking gay, but no one really knows how gay THEY REALLY ARE. and believe you me, some of the motherfuckers who say shit about me are pretty goddamn gay, to begin with. SO LAY OFF, YOU CRETANS.

i don't want to appear as a little bitch, and have everyone dislike me because i write and act like a FAGGOT. but then again, i don't give a goddamn whether or not people hate me or not.

you can't please everyone. that is a truth.

so i don't give a fuck. i know there are a lot of readers now, but i'm going to write about this anyway. i'm tired of talking in code, so that i don't look like a girl-obsessed loser. i also know that i've set a bad mood for the rest of this blog, with all the negative energy directed at you readers.

but if you truly love me, dear readers, then i will love you. if you hate me, then you can go shoot yourself in the mouth, for all i care.

now back to ranting about the girl. i should have written this earlier this week, but whatever. i was sort of "precautious." she likes the weezer album i gave her. (thanks tyree, for giving it to me originally. brian said he'd give me another copy.) she plays it in her car! i don't know, i think that's really cool. sure, we don't have much in common, and people will say i'm creating an image of her in my mind that builds her in such a way that shouldn't be, but whatever. i don't think i would like a girl that was anything like me. it would irritate the shit out of me, if there was a girl just like me. i like amy, she's nothing like me, and that is a great thing. everyone i know can be a little imitative at times..... it's like getting a mirror put in front of you for a quick second, and getting a feeling of disgust from seeing what you are. i'd rather not know any more about who i am.

maybe by now, she's gotten tired of pinkerton, and thrown it out the window.

or maybe not!

yeah, amy is a cool girl to get attention from.

after the movie, we waited in the parking lot we went back to anthony's house. everyone killed my junior mints and pringles, of which i didn't get much of. but it's my fault really, for not being so anal about giving away my precious food (i get hungry, later on in this story). oh well, as long as TRUE FRIENDS got a share.

what a gay statement.

we need a "shotgun constitution," and the "true friends constitution."

everyone leaves, and then it is just me, brian, and anthony. we jump on the trampoline, and talk about how gay some people are, and how we're going to murder them tomorrow, with guns and stuff. it's going to be pretty cool.

we pick up seth and ruslan, get some drinks at walgreens, and head over to ben antrobus' "party." can you say sausage fest? it seemed like some people had fun, so i was happy for them. but at that place, i realized that i can't hang with a lot of people. i'm one of those self-initiated elitests, you could say, but i don't care. let's face it, tomorrow, i'm going to anthony's "halloween" thing with excitement, because of amy. there's no getting past that, let's not lie to anyone here. sure, i'd be at anthony's house regardless, but i will ENJOY myself tomorrow, even if it is just another sausage fest.

but i do love my friends. you motherfuckers are my teenage crew! well, those of you of whom are not gay. i hate faggots.

kill kill kill!

anyway, i'm going to sleep now. i'm really tired. i know when i wake up, i'm going see this blog, and i'll say to myself, "what the fuck was i doing, writing this bitching and moaning shit?" but whatever. a guy has got to bitch and moan, sometime, you know what i mean?

in the immortal words of mustafa farah, "quit being such a bitch-ass-slut-hoe."

and i will. once i get some sleep. nighty-night!

tomorrow:

i. get my retainer from anthony's
ii. see jackass

i also want to sleep dream play with girl sing dance jump eat FROLIC.

my mom just came home with my grades.

SURPRISE!

she's not mad at all. she's sort of happy..... WHAT THE HELL!

wait, i'm not complaining.

i've been such a bad student! but my mom just told me to "keep up the good work!"

now all i have to do, is actually bring my grades closer to a 4.0, and then i won't be lying to myself about everything being fine!

life feels RAD.

another half day, fuck yeah!

afterschool, we just chilled at anthony's house, watching reservoir dogs. rj owns the dvd with mr. pink on the cover. we were all getting heavy-eyed and drowsy. at first, it was just roger, anthony, amy, and i, but then a bunch of fuckers tore in and interrupted our sleep. mitchell gangwish, ben antrobus, james saito, kyle yugitafa, yenvy pham, and james mcveigh all barged in out of nowhere.

i write people's full names when they're just acquaintances. however, mitchell is an exception, because i've heard it all from that fucker.

i think gabriel and ruslan were there at one point, perhaps before the reckless brigade came in, and gabe was demanding his camera back. i still have it though. teehee.

amy doesn't want me playing yu-gi-oh cards. that still won't change the fact that i'll be a 23 year old anti-socialite who attends comic book and star trek conventions!

linda, minh, and perhaps some other people who i've forgotten to mention joined us shortly, and there was massive trampolining ensuing. james saito did flips and stuff. james mcveigh broke his bottle of cologne on the trampoline, and glass shards were all over the mat.

he probably stinks just as bad, with that shit on.

at 1:40, we all went back to the school to get on the bus for the cross country league meet at evergreen. at that point, i decided that i wouldn't run, and that i'd just tell winmill that i left my running shoes in his room, which i did.

scott mcdowell was at the meet, throwing a frisbee around with everyone. micah bartlett wrestled some guy from hazen, and he rolled into some dog crap.

IT WAS COLD. luckily, i had a warm body near me to keep my hands from getting frost-bitten, and breaking off.

WARMMM!!! she was.

people can look and stare and laugh all they want. quite frankly, there is nothing i need or want to say to people about it all. i have morals. she has morals. we're both moral-having people. this all locks in the fact that i don't care what other people think. i look like i'm getting played, do i? looks can be decieving, and i'm not the one being decieved.

i have a good sense of who i am, and what i want. can any of you fucks, who point and cackle, make the same claim?

yes, i thought i loved everyone in the world, but it turns out i'm only looking out for numero uno.

i may sound like a bitch right now, but i'm being real here, YOU PHONIES.

i just awoke from a deep slumber.

lately, sleep deprivation has really taken its toll on my mind body. sometimes, i can be such a grouch, without the basic necessity of sleep. maybe i need it more than other people, or maybe i just notice that people are p-m-s-ing because of their own lack of sleep, but it feels like i'm always isolated into my own little corner of tired living. that nap felt so fresh, yo!

is it a bad thing that i cherish things like sleep and food so much? is it a sign of some sort of clinical depression, or that i'm just a narc? because if it is, i really don't give a shit.

give me some more homely comforts, my nizzles!

Screw this crap, I've had it! I ain't no Mr. Cool
I'm a pig, I'm a dog, so 'scuse me if I drool
I ain't gonna hurt nobody, ain't gonna cause a scene
I just need to admit I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? I want sugar in my tea!
- "the good life" by weezer.

half day, yo!

school sucked major ass. i couldn't help but anticipate my AFTERSCHOOL AGENDA.

basically, each period got my brains messier and messier and messier, like this:

0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - KRAKOOOM!!!

i'm so glad we got to do the american studies test in groups. mr. day knows what's up.

afterschool, we took the cross country pictures. that shit took forever. people had to take their individual pictures before we posed for the team photo. it sucked. but after it was all over, i used the super stealth abilities given to me by the government, to evade winmill from detecting my escape from cross county prison. indeed, i am the master.

or not.

anthony, rj, tyree, amy, ben (the mixed kid with the blonde afro, who got sponsored by jones soda and now gets two cases of free jones juice a month!) went to anthony's house, then to the tyee skatepark, then back to the school to look at old yearbooks and skate footage (ben is fucking sick!), and then back to anthony's house (along with minh-tu, who tagged along after we left the school).

amy likes pinkerton! swoon!

minh-tu hit me in the nads with her hand, after i said "knee to the pussy," because i was listening to that black sheep song. jesus christ, that shit hurt. i didn't even deserve it, WHAT THE HELL???

maurro had his little hispanic friend, who is like 1/4 of his size, at anthony's house. they were jumping on the trampoline, all happy and junk. it was quite humorous to see this supposed hardass from "south thirteen" chilling with a mouse-like boy that looks like speedy gonzalez.

i felt my retainer and gabriel's camera at anthony's house. oops. i don't even know if i can say, "at least they're in a safe place." heh.

i probably enjoyed everything 1,000,000 more than anyone else. like tyree said, it was a sausage fest for everyone, except me.

a girl so heavenly; i wish i wasn't going to hell!

this is your life, young joseph.

i write this from first period web design. kim is to my left, doing a graphics assignment. daren dacanay is to my right, looking at the seattle post-intelligencer website. i am where i am, thinking.

next period, i am to take a test in american studies. god awful, there needs to be someone to tell me to "stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself," because i'm screwing myself in a grand and slacker fashion. grand slacker, yo.

the only thing is, i'm not proud of it. i'm not proud to be a lazy, unorganized, dirty slob. nowadays, i find myself constantly sluggish and without any will to do anything anymore. i could have studied last night, but i didn't. i could have studied this morning, but i didn't.

regret is a testament to who i am.

i find myself with my dreams being greater in thought than in the actual actions i take to pursue them. i've always thought my ambition and willingness to get where ever could take me places, but the only place i'm being taken to is a gutter-wet detention center in the middle of my mind. my head doesn't work anymore, it feels like.

i'm not an honors student. i simply lack the drive to be one. no honors student, genuinely in their heart, would say "fuck school." but i say it everyday.

and now i must go take a test, locking in my doom.

-

WAIT A SECOND, AFTERSCHOOL WILL BE FUCKING HEAVEN!

i can't wait.

given the right equipment, i could be famous.

people care. that's cool. but i know what i'm doing.

the only thing you guys should worry about, is the season premiere of boston public.

it's just that her hugs are like a million fireflies, flooding my chest with cosmic fruit juices and the sweetest jello that would resemble ambrosia, the nectar of the gods.

it's yummy, she's warm, and i'm constantly excited by the radiating, yet soothing, sunshine of her smile directed at the goofy face i'm making.

sometimes, i can express myself in such a way, that i can be gay beyond belief. jitterbug.

smallville, everwood, and gilmore girls are all three of my favorite shows, and they sequentially run in that order on sundays.

last night, i watched cky with a hot girl, boogie nights with a bunch of guys and girls, and the exorcist with a couple of sleepy heads.

i'm getting so behind in school, it's fuh-reakin' crazy, my niggas!