it was crazy how my body was shivering from the fever i had a couple nights ago. my body was all sore from the weight lifting i did days before, and my muscles felt like they were going to tear apart. the atoms in my body were splitting hardcore, and i was cold.

and then i started having these outward, self-conscious, artistically involved dreams. i was totally awake, and i was becoming delusional from my fever, and i enjoyed it. and i wrote some of it down for future reference.

something about my fever engaged every emotion of love, anger, and fear and loathing that lied dormant in me for some time. i equate the eye-opening experience to the car crash i was in earlier this year. i've never done any crazy stimulants or narcotics before, so i can't really compare it to anything like that. it's just a crazy thing. i was dreaming while i was awake, with images of people and things and life and it was fucking beautiful and scary and oh my god.

it seems like no one would understand anyway. i don't care.

just listen to some music you like, and let it put you in that mood. it's the only place i want to be right now. maybe we'll meet on the same song track.

plans for the weekend:

- eat some snow (euphemism for smoking crack cocaine)
- lift at the rec?
- watch 10 movies (no joke)
- maybe do some homework

yeah my life is exciting!

fucking up my liver.