this morning, i peeled myself out of bed, and did some plant work at the "garden of goo," for the second time. we de-weeded some of the wetland plants they're growing there, dug up black berries, and prunned some trees.

though it is for community service hours, one can't help but feel good with the calculating clerical spirits that handle karma.

after i got home, i rubbed one out, and then fell asleep. i left an away message on the computer, so that people could wake me up when they needed to. three and a half hours later, i woke up, and amy was iming me, sending me messages to get me awake.

i simultaneously talked to her and brian (about movies, because we're a little hyped off stuff right now [ROGER: i still need to see the city of lost children! i can't believe you got it! i am experiencing the notion of envy right now! grr!]) for a while on aim, and then i picked up all the clothes off the floor of my room.

i tried to struggle through some calculus, but i'm utterly stumped on some derivatives right now.

amy came over for a little bit, and it made for a semi-surreal experience. i don't usually have people over, simply because there isn't anything to do around here, and so we just sat and talked.

i tend to learn a lot about myself when i have to explain the things in my bedroom to people; the action figures, the posters, the books, the little trinkets and memories.

i'm so..... young!

she left her scent in my room, and now i have to sugar my own churro for the second time today, for sure!

i just came home from roger's house. after playing vice city and such, anthony knocked out cold, so we sneaked out and left him in the pitch black room, with "what ever lola wants" playing in the background. we were trying to scare him, but his mom called rj's, and that basically foiled our plan of spookery. we did however, watch brother, takeshi "beat" kitano's latest film that i know of. kitano is one of my favorites, for sure.

according to my site meter, my site can be found on google when you type in "fuck it, we are getting nuked," and on aol search when you type in "victoria secret."

this is the world's subtle way of telling me that i'm cool, yo.

and isn't being cool all that matters in the world?

right now, at this very moment: i'm sitting right behind three giggling versions of three of my amigos, as they excitingly play/watch grand theft auto: vice city. from my perspective, left to right, i can hear anthony's voice from behind the computer screen, i can see the back of roger's head, as well as the mop that is brian's hair. "run in there," anthony cries out, "maybe you can shoot somebody from there." "haha," brian chuckles, as rj wastes the fuck out of an innocent pedestrian with a gattling gun. you either have to have played gta, or be here right now, to know why this matters. "stars all seem to weep" by beth orton is playing in the background. some things just don't make any sense, but still make you feel cool as herc.

where's amy?

*sigh*

  dear amy,

  i'm thinking about you right now.

  love,
  joseph

today was was a normal day at school, as far as i can remember.

swim practice was pretty cool, and i think my brother and i made some progres while we were there.

my body, my body, my body!

yesterday, after doing some things in the journalism lab up until 3:20, we went to swim practice. and then we swam.

I FUCKING SWAM, yo!

okay, so out of 13 guys, i'm the worst on the team. the point is, i didn't DROWN. i didn't sink. i went forward!

i even surprised coach die [diana], because i had led her to believe that i couldn't swim at all. wowzers!

my brother is making progress too, and he's probably better than me right now.

my goal for today's practice: make it all the way across the pool!

i'm writing this from first period web design. kim has been bugging me all week in this class, trying to get me to ask mr. dowd how old he is. i just did it! he wouldn't tell us, but we guessed in the range of 35, 37, 41, and we'll have to see if he will eventually reveal his age. but, right now i feel like a rude trumpet for asking him. it's all kim's fault!

i haven't done any homework this week. seriously, this is beginning to be very bad for me.

first period was pretty wild today - wild, as far as web design is concerned. we had a miniature field trip to the art room, and saw the art display that they had there. after we got back from that, we worked on some word puzzles, or "wordles," as mr. dowd said they were called. kim and i were pretty stumped on a few of them, but i think we might have solved the most out of anyone in the class. maybe one of you can solve this one, which we had a hard time with:

LAL

if you don't know what i'm talking about, a couple of examples of wordles are: IECEXCEPT (i before e except after c), ME NT (apartment), and ECNALG (backwards glance). LAL was actually italicized on the paper, so the slant appearance is part of its meaning.

advisory was a little funny. we had an earthquake drill, narrated by mr. sakaue on the intercom, as well as a lockdown drill. once again, i drew "zippermouth" on the board with dry erase markers. the concept of s&m is ten times funnier in a classroom setting.

third period draaaaaaaged.

i ate popcorn and chips for lunch. i'm not proud.

fifth period was sort of slow, but not as bad as third. winmill was correcting some of his biology tests from earlier periods, and he got me to help him find out who was cheating on one of them, because there was a block of information written in pencil on one of the desks. my brother, by the way, got a 100% on that test. if i recall, i don't ever remember doing that well on anything in biology 1-2.

after school, we had a swim meeting in the student commons. our swim coach was really excited about our new swim program. tomorrow will be our first practice, so we'll just have to wait and see how it all turns out.

i also saw mike good for the first time in a long time. his hair is pretty long. he probably thinks i'm some square who doesn't smoke, but you know what? i'm really SOME COOL GUY WHO DOESN'T SMOKE.

i wonder what byron gangwish looks like now. i haven't seen him in a long time, and i've heard he looks different from when i last saw him. do all stoners forget their barber shop appointments?

but really, i dig the long hair.

at the bus stop, i saw jonathan bell sitting on the bus seat, as he was fighting off invisble monsters, as well as providing his own video game sound effects. mustafa told me before how that guy became a crackhead, but i didn't really take it seriously until now. it's not even funny to look at, because this guy is the supposed father of parris' baby. crack is bad.

though today started off with thick gasoline-smelling fog, the afternoon turned out pretty nice. i like to look up at a clear blue sky, while listening to music, and seeing a single airplane inch it's way over me. i also like the way how our seattle sun HAS TO fight its way through dense clouds, resulting in a glow that you can actually stare at - without getting your eyes fried.

i have to remember to call dugan's for the spirit club and green team t-shirts. just so i don't forget: 425.251.9000

instead of an alarm clock, there needs to be some sort of mechanism around my bed that splashes me with ice-freezing water, and then tazers me up the asshole with some minor voltage. 'cuz yo, i just can't wake into reality with that sneaky invention that they call the snooze button.

zzzzz.

while i was showering this morning, the hot water suddenly turned off on me, and i was immersed in liquid shivers. i forgot what that type of experience feels like - it's so bone chillingly weird; i can't describe it. all i know is that girls get off on the hot-to-cold showers, and that's even weirder.

or strangely erotic?

i love to dance, even when there's no music playing, and especially when no one is looking, except for maybe my brother. interpretive dance, pop'n'locking, self-moshing, you name it, i do it. i love it. i always picture myself on stage, while the drummer, rhythm guitarist, solo guitarist, and bassist are going wild on their instruments, and i'm freaking out with the gayest moves imaginable, and i'm loving it. i shouldn't call it "dancing," because that's just gay, but whatever. fuck it. dance. dance. you could even say that i want to start a DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION, minus all the asianness, gayness, and patrick newmanness.

i dance out the door of my house, right before school, every morning. ROCK fucking OUT. i hope this writing doesn't make me look like jake, with all of the "face rocking" faggotries that he laces his blog entries with.

but yo, y'all just have to know: i'll fuck a face a hundred times harder, any day.

right in between zero period and first, i listen to say it ain't so by weezer, routinely, every day. today, the batteries in my cd player died on me.

so you can basically infer on to how the rest of my day unfolded. if you can't, it went something like this:

*unfold*

the end.

p.s. "dance" really is such an ewwie word. i'm going to try to eradicate from my vocabulary, just like the words "cool" and "antidisestablishmentarianism." people use those words too much.

p. p. s. my hair is at its best when it is shampooed and rinsed, with leftover pomade from the day before. i shouldn't have cut it last year, when it was at its emo-length.

disclaimer: the following entry is not happy. i am, in no way, responsible for you getting depressed, wet, or stupid. what's the direct opposite of "enjoy?"

over and over again, there is this depressing cycle of mediocrity that i go through. just when i think i'm about to come up, i hit a wall of laziness that looks at me and flips me the bird.

god, it is so easy to complain about my stupid lack of effort. it is so easy to pick apart and analyze my troubles. it is so easy to just sit here, and do nothing.

i spent about two hours and a half rearranging the sidebar on this weblog, trying to get it just right. i might as well just make a whole new layout, but whatever. fuck it.

i like to fuck it, so i can cum buckets. - wasn't it buck 65 who said/rapped that? i don't know, i never actually heard the song, but i remember the hip hop enforcers of my freshman year chanting it, like a fucking christmas carol.

joy to the world, my head is dead.

i give up on a lot of things very easily. i could TRY and make everyone like me, but it's just so goddamn easy to be myself, and piss people off. it's natural. i'd rather write about jumping people, than actually getting stepped on myself.

is this a defense mechanism? i don't know, and whatever it may be, for all the freudisms and mind-reeling and self-exploratory papers written about the human brain, i pretty much get the fact that i'm a circle freak. i'm circuited into the routine of underachievement, and by golly, as much as i seem to get used to it, i fear for my future.

i'm really counting on our country getting nuked by some pissed off nation, or aliens coming down on us and burning everything in sight with their green lasers, or some sort of book of revelations/nastrodamos-esque rapture - because the world would be so much easier for me, if it was this way.

i figure, i'd live on the meat of stray dogs, and journey from city to city, in some sort of rough-fucked-up vehicle, armed with a sword, a shotgun, and a handgun.

actually, that would be pretty gay. it's just one of an infinitessimal amount escapisms that i think of, when i see that i'm failing to be the dreamed-up success of a scholar that i should be. in this capitalist society, I NEED SHIT. i need to eat well. i need to have a big fucking house when i grow up. i need the minimum of a three car garage. i need the gourmet kitchen.

all of these "when i grow up's" that i won't get to fulfill are most likely the reasons for this early, per say, clairvoyant and seemingly nonsensical display of gayness, making me seem so dissappointed in myself.

all i want to do is make lots of cash, just so me and my friends can party all night long. that's the dream, isn't it?

i need an excorcist for this starving artist bullshit.

I've got the Dungeon Master's Guide
I've got a 12-sided die
I've got Kitty Pryde
and Nightcrawler too

Waiting there for me
Yes I do, I do

I've got posters on the wall
My favorite rock group Kiss
I've got Ace Frehley
I've got Peter Criss
Waiting there for me
Yes I do, I do

In the garage I feel safe
No one cares about my ways
In the garage
Where I belong
No one hears me sing this song
In the garage

I've got an electric guitar
I play my stupid songs I
write these stupid words
and I love every one
Waiting there for me
Yes I do, I do

- "in the garage" by weezer.

okay, so today, i couldn't drown myself, because i couldn't get my sports clearance, and there is no swim practice today. also, i've heard that muckerheide isn't the coach anymore, and that the district hired some other guy to coach swimming. i'm... somewhat disappointed.

muck's furry chest!

oh, and if no one knows about byron and scott's shittycartoons site, you should go there, just to see the last shitty cartoon. it's shitty..... and fucking hilarious. it made me do the "haha's" out loud.

who cares that we have a brain that can carry out an invariable amount of complex functions, when you have cartoons like that. what are they doing to their heads, over there at bcc?

today, out of the usual jew-jew of my normal routines, i ate very little. i had two cereal bars, and a fourth of a hot pocket. i feel... poor.

what did the filipino say when the whole world went hungry? he said, MASS STARBATION! get it? masturbation, and mass starvation? i just drove this joke to it's end, but i swear, it was a freakin' riot when i first heard it.

minutes later.....

okay, i'm no longer going hungry. i just got myself two foster farm corn dogs, relished with heinz ketchup and french's mustard. all american, yo!

yesterday i went outside.....

the day yester, i did not go to church. instead, i bummed money for the starving needy with the northwest harvest people, for nhs service hours. it was..... fulfilling to say the most. some people can be stinges and stooges and assholes and bastards, but still there are some good ones. they either donate big, or walk past you, avoiding eye contact, just so they won't feel guilty.

i sort of feel guilty, seeing as some of my people stole money from the charity fund! my goodness, that's sort of fucked up, yo!

there were these old folks who gave us food. it was nice of them. FEED THE FUCKING NEEDY, yo!

after i came home, my mom immediately took me and my brother out to auburn, to see my auntie's new house. why anyone would move to auburn, i do not know, but the house is nice, nonetheless. on the way there, i fell asleep listening to one of hannah's deathcab for cutie cds - i don't know which specific album it is; the one with the white people running on the yellow background? it's good, anyway.

i was pushing my cousin on the swing set, and he started to cry. the kid was in a freakin' harness-swing, yo!

then we went to the supermall, and i got some stuff. we went there for swimming equipment, but we spent a little too much time there. a little too much. i saw a pair of clark's wallabees, the original wallabees with the gum sole, the fuckin' REAL wallabees, but i didn't get them. they were at nordstrom rack, for cheap too. they also had some rowley's in my size, for $39. i was about to get those too, but then i decided that i'm a chuck taylor's boy, so i quickly ran out of the store empty handed.

yep. that was yesterday. today, i will go to swim practice, and freakin' drown.

DROWN.