just so i don't forget, here is tomorrow's shopping list:
tim's cascade jalapeno chips
dreyer's girl scout tagalong cookie ice cream
welches white grape peach juice

and just so i don't forget to tell john, because he's asleep right now - get hero on dvd, you will not be disappointed!

today's highlights:
+ minh-tu (for giving me EVERYONE IS A DESIGNER! MANIFEST FOR THE DESIGN ECONOMY)
+ roger (for beating me in a race and subsequently falling on his face)
+ rich (for doing a backflip upon request)
+ seth (for lip singing the beastman video in cky4)
- ms. cave (for being the substitute teacher with the unheard-of phobia of leaky pipes)

especially on nice, hot, sunny days like today, it's great to be called up by people who like to laugh; any reason to not be stuck at home in front of this godforsaken computer.

this blog site sucks. go away.

yesterday i went to the great wall shopping mall. i don't hate boaters as much as i pretend to. today i went back to school, and people said 'wassup.' i have stronger feelings for some people, more than i let on.

this blog site sucks. let's be friends.

it's "good day sunshine" not "goodbye sunshine" by the beatles. haha, no wonder i thought that song made so much sense.

today i woke up and played pokémon. last night i named my bulbasaur (which is now an ivysaur) MRCHOPKIDS. i caught a pidgey today, and i named him INSPEKTA (the stupid bitchfuck naming system in the game doesn't have numbers, so it wouldn't let me have "INSPEKTA17"), as well as a caterpie which i named LUCOMOTION. i expect to get a pikachu soon, since i've only arrived in viridian forest this morning. i'll probably name that guy TANSAMBO or something. if i get a water-type pokémon anytime soon, i'll probably name him RAINMAN, and i'm planning to name some of the other pokémon i catch as SETH and TYREE.

gotta' catch them all.

i went to the library and borrowed two dvd's and three books. the dvd's are alice's restaurant and american yakuza, and the books are the candide by volitaire, franny and zooey by j.d. salinger, and catch-22 by joseph heller. i can't remember if i just skimmed through the last of the two mentioned, or if i actually read them. it didn't really matter to me during my freshman year whether i had or not.

yesterday seth came over and dropped off donnie darko. the first time i saw this film i was at roger's house, and byron was there. there was too much glare on the television, so i couldn't really get into it. i think someone needs to explain to me the whole time-travel thing, because i dun. gut. it.

you know, you can read a lot of philosophical essays on the matrix website. it's pretty cool, if you can stomach the bullshit.

i also forgot to mention that i have several of roger's dvd's at my house, and i've been going through them a little bit. the deer hunter, the french connection, dr. strangelove, and easy rider are all sitting on top of my television because unfortunately my parents don't think i should be mincing my mind into mush by watching these films instead of doing my homework.

and boy does my mind go to mush.

i also have anthony's stand and deliver. i can't wait until pedro almodovar's talk to her is on dvd. i've been waiting for that, as well as roman polanski's the pianist.

stupidfuckofafuck i think i'm going to become a doctor or an engineer and go to film school afterwards or not go to film school at all and just make movies out of what i already know and who gives a fuck definitely not you shit!

umm... yeah... it doesn't matter how far you've come away from the masses since even the most idealistic of ideals are materially invested in dirty, dirty pop.

i hate stupid bitches who lament like they know shit!

dr. gary seemed to put things in perspective for my parents. it's funny, the same person, who, though not at all menacing, tried to scare me on friday, today eased my parent's minds.

i still don't know where i'll end up.

i like saying the name "monica bellucci" over and over. it rolls off the tongue quite nicely.

"the world has turned and left me here" by weezer doesn't relate in context, but the title and hook are appropriate.

they won't even let me go to the district office to speak to an advisor. my parents are on their way their, and i'm stuck here at home.

to say that this experience is episodical is an understatement of the situation's severity. my mom called people here and there, and it seems as though that there's a great chance that i won't be coming back to renton high school ever again.

this is not my fucking reality.

i wish i could plead insanity, but this whole ordeal is only based on a few bad choices and decisions, here and there. what would seem to be casual mistakes are now reaping the consequences of bringing a gun to school, and never in my life have a felt so vulnerable to external decisions.

right now, i am utterly helpless. at first, i thought this whole thing would go away, but from what they're telling my mom, they're not going to be very easy on me, and they're giving her little hope as to my educational career in this area - or the state.

it seems so silly that this thing could fly out the window like a breeze, or blow over and snowball into something really bad, something really really bad.

the lahar is coming?

GOD, i'm semi-freaking out and having a nervous breakdown all while simutaneously trying to keep my body still. i might be hairless by the next time you see me, either from the balding effects of stress or from myself pulling my own hair out. this will definitely not be a pretty sight.

i keep thinking about the hearing that i'm supposed to have, and what i'm supposed to say. what the fuck AM i supposed to say? i brought a fucking laser pointer school, and they want to hang me like i'm josh warnock? a laser pointer is not a gun, FOR CHRIST'S SAKES.

this whole emergency expulsion was unnecessary. if i was rich i would have filed a lawsuit, but unfortunately i'm not, so i have to argue myself out of this hole. as ridiculous as it sounds, dr. gary has kind of scared me into feeling as if i have done something wrong, and the more i think about everything the harder it is for me to distinguish the truth from the emotional reprecussions of this whole charade.

but then again, i don't care.

fuck 'em.

i'm full of food right now and i want to go to the book store.

i had a weird dream last night, where i was getting sucked off by a person i'm supposed to hate. she didn't manage to get me off though, since we kept getting interrupted, and we had to postpone the climax of the act several times through out the whole narrative state of unconsciousness.

however, during the day time i've had dreams about monica bellucci, as you can see from the alterations to this site. i need to go rent malena sometime.